At every stage of our lives, embracing our natural hair is an act of self-love and celebration. "Beyond its scientific classification as keratin-based dead cells, our hair transcends mere biology within the black community. It stands as a testament to our heritage, culture, and creativity—a crown that symbolizes our identity and individuality.
Many of us grew up with hot combs and perms as a part of our hair regiment with very little to no information on how to take care of our different black natural hair textures. So, it’s no surprise that the initial excitement most of us felt when discovering black hair care was quickly foreshadowed by frustration and sometimes even dread. There was no single manual to this journey, and I, like many, would look up to black hair YouTubers and Bloggers. They taught us the LOC and LCO methods, how to do a twist out, braid out, cornrows, and grow out your hair. However, one crucial message was often missing, which was the need to love your hair at every stage.
1. Perms & Transitioning
Growing up, I am sure most of us had a love-hate relationship with the relaxer. Do you remember how agonizing it was to sit under the dryers with the chemicals burning our scalps away? Soon afterward, our hair would be glossy and silky straight. The relaxer culture was so deeply embedded that most of us did not know we had a different type of curly-haired woman. Luckily, the rise of the natural hair movement made so many of us more comfortable dipping our toes by transitioning hairstyle options. Others were bold enough to do a big chop, marking the beginning of our natural hair journey.
However, it is important to note, that natural hair is not for everyone. If you prefer your hair straightened or relaxed, do not feel pressured because you like what you like. Straight hair does not erase your black identity, and you deserve to love every part of your hair journey. Plus, if you want to switch it up, just throw on an afro-textured wig or clip-in hair extensions and call it a day.
2. Tiny Afros
You were bold enough to do the big chop, and now you have this tiny adorable afro, or 'TWA' growing out. This is when you realize that accessories are your best friend, and you begin to dress up the style with earrings and jewelry. Some get creative by experimenting with different colors, cuts, and styles. This is the stage defined by liberation, sure, you might feel conscious about your head shape initially, but it is your scalp. So, represent it with pride, and enjoy the freedom of waking up and not having to do your hair and the cool breeze that tingles your scalp. All that is left to say while rocking a TWA is to have fun.
3. Stuck at Shoulder Length
This may be the most frustrating stage of them all, and I say that from a place where I was in utter despair, trying to figure out why my hair would not grow past my shoulders. We might not like to admit it, but most of us end up raiding our kitchen pantry. From rice water, onion juice, bananas, avocados, honey, baking soda, ketchup, okay, maybe not ketchup, but the list is honestly endless. While it may be hard to admit that these odd concoctions are not working for us, we need to take a step back and pause. Ask yourself, are you feeding your body with the same level of nutrients that you pump into your hair through products? Are you taking care of your mental and emotional health with the same effort you put into your hair? Sure, our hair may comprise a clump of dead cells, but just like our skin, it reflects our current health state. Countless studies show the link between stunted hair growth with harmful diets and high stress levels. Hence, during this stage, worry less about your hair and focus on becoming the best and healthiest version of yourself.
Moreover, do not forget you got your hair to that beautiful shoulder-length, whether from transitioning or the big shop. Acknowledge and celebrate that win because if you can make progress that you currently view as small, you can definitely achieve your ultimate hair goals.
4. Bad Hair Days
Who has not suffered lousy hair days? Those days you cannot get your yaki hair extensions to blend when that wig just will not lay flat, and worst of all, when that new hairstyle you tried does not look as good as the tutorial, and you need to leave the house. Bad Hair days can be maddening, and we sometimes make mistakes that are not easy to revert. Sometimes we damage our hair with color or silk press; we are excited to try or accidentally cut a piece of our hair off while undoing a protective style. While I understand that these off days can make us feel infuriated with ourselves, evoking hopelessness and worthlessness, Darling, remember you are just human. Social media may make us feel like we need to be perfect 24/7 and ensure our edges are laid and our hairstyle is slayed, but at our core, we are human. We have off days, and we make mistakes, none of which we cannot return. So, do not be too hard on yourself; revel in the mishaps.
5. Ultimate Hair Goals
Our final destination is the stage where our hair is the longest, healthiest, thickest, and most hydrated it has ever been. We idolize this day when our wash-and-go will have people turning at its beauty. Nonetheless, allow me to let you in on a secret; you might never reach your ultimate hair goals. But wait. Exhale girl.
Do not get me wrong, you might get that volume you always wanted or get to waist-length hair. However, we are not stagnant; our wants and desires may shift, you may end up wanting a short buzz cut after dreaming and actualizing long thick hair. Also, your hair might change from its porosity, density, and hair type with the added length. It might even push you to relearn everything you knew about your hair. If you do reach your hair goals, congratulations, you did it. If those aspirations happen to change, well, enter this new stage of life with sheer joy and excitement for what the journey holds next.
I am sure we have all been in at least one of these stages in our lives, and just like any other journey, our hair care has its highs and lows. That is why it is vital to continue loving our hair throughout the different stages.
Fall in love with your hair and yourself by experimenting. Do not hesitate to try that color or style you always wanted. Clip-in hair extensions are ideal for this type of exploration! Try out different natural textured wigs from Private Stock Hair. Let your creativity flow; you might be surprised at what you end up liking. Also, never forget to celebrate the small wins; you finally find your holy grail of products, celebrate it. You successfully installed that wig or a new hairstyle according to your vision, record, and celebrate it. Be your number one fan. Lastly, as cliché as it sounds, practice self-care and self-love. Self-care is not easy; it is hard to feel beautiful if you feel awful inside. Therefore, make sure to listen to your body, physical, emotional, and mental health, and put in the effort to love yourself.
That it is. Those are my tips on how to love your hair at every stage. My challenge to you; when you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror no matter the state your hair is in, repeat this affirmation to yourself; “My Hair Is Beautiful Just the Way It Is Because It Is Mine.